Realize
by xxBeautifulxxDisasterxx
Summary: She finally looks up from her hands and she stares at me, “Ashley…” She says and now I know it’s going to be something bad. I can feel it, “I um… is it bad to like your best friend?” oh; well I guess it could be like really good!
1. Chapter 1

_She changed her without realizing her hidden feelings for her best friend. _

Next week, we start high school. We'll be freshmen in King High. Where as, 9 weeks ago, we were 8th graders at King Middle School. Everything seemed so simple 9 weeks ago. Now, it's when everything changes. It always does. I've heard stories that best friends don't stay best friends when they enter high school. I've also heard that people change. And instead of keeping a secret, they stab you in the back just to be cool.

And that's what im terrified from.

"Spencer come on! You'll look great! Just come out of the dressing room!" Spencer Carlin. My best friend. And has been since the fourth grade. It's been a while yeah. And im happy that we've been friends all this time. And right now, she is trying on girls clothes. Im tried of her wearing baggy shirts and shorts. She has a figure under all of that clothing I know it.

The dressing room door opens and steps out the beautiful blue eyed blonde. "It's all too tight." Wow. Just. Wow.

"Um, that's what girl clothes do. They show your figure." I told you she had one! And her curves are amazing. I must say.

I watch as my best friend stares at herself in the mirror, "Do you think I look fine?"

"You look hot, Spence." I see her blush in the mirror

"That's all that matters." She smiles at me through the mirror and that's when I realized that I might be falling for me best friend. I don't see why I haven't noticed it before. She's particularly the only person I ever want to hang out with. She's the only one I can be completely myself around. And every time im around her, I get butterflies. No matter what.

IOIOIOIOIO

That was 2 months ago. And Spencer has definitely taken my opinion in her own hands. Because she became popular very quickly. And she became the newest hottest icon at the school. And the captain of the freshmen cheerleading squad. I don't see why she is any of this! She hated the popular people. She hated the hottest people at our school because all they were only hot because they were sluts. And she hated the cheerleaders. She called them 'cheer bitches'. And now look who is the captain of it!

But not to worry I guess. Since we're best friends, im popular too. But just the type of popular that people only knows you as her best friend. But I guess its whatever. As long as I still get to be friends with Spencer, I'll do whatever I need to. Or take any label I need to take. Because she's my best friend and im hers.

"Damn, she is fine." I hear a couple of freshmen guys who is sitting behind me in the bleachers watching the pep rally happening on the gym floor. "I'd do her." I know that they are talking about Spencer because none of the other cheer leaders are even remotely as 'fine' as Spencer.

I turn around and stare at them, "Hey, shut your mouth." I snap at them. Because I don't want them talking about her like that. She has a boyfriend. And a jackass too. He's 'upperclassmen'.

"What'cha gonna do about it?" one of the dick heads replies back to me

I stand up and punch him in the nose, "Ashley!" That would be my other best friend, Aiden. I've known him since the fourth grade too. He's a hot icon too. Well, he's kind of always been.

I watch as the two boys exit the gym before I even start to talk to Aiden. "What? They were talking about Spencer." Aiden knows that im gay now and im in love with her. He's the only one I've told. And the only one I plan on telling.

"Still. You shouldn't have punched the dude." He says with a grin.

"Oh shut up. You're just mad because you didn't get to punch the guy who annoys the hell out of you first." He laughs and continues to watch the pep rally

I sigh and stare at her. I watch as she smiles to the crowd. Not making any eye contact with any of them. She's the loudest out of the whole squad, but yet the quietest. She's completely shy, but yet the most outgoingness person I've ever met. She's beautiful, inside and out. And the fact that she can make me laugh with the stupidest comment ever, is just another reason to why I love her. She looks up at me and we lock eyes. I smile at her and she smiles back, but turns away shyly.

This girl kills me sometimes I swear. The way her body moves, and the way her hair bounces against her face, and the way she says my name way differently than anyone else's. And just the fact that I have her, and I know she'll never leave me, just adds up.

They finish their last cheer and im almost overjoyed because of it. Now every little horn-dog guy can stop picturing her naked. She makes her way over to us and brings Aiden into a hug first, im a little hurt, but my hug was a lot longer than his. So it evens out I guess. "How did you guys like it?" she asks with her questioning blue eyes

"Im not going to lie. It was pretty hot, Spence." Aiden grins. Stupid boys and their stupid hormones. But I know that Aiden is all play, because he would never hurt me like that.

Spencer rolls her eyes at him and looks at me with her famous Spencer smile. Head slightly tilted, and eyes locked on yours. I swallow hard, "It sucked." She acts like she's hurt by the comment and pushes me a little

"Why did it suck, Miss Davies?" I see out of the corner of my eye that Aiden is enjoying what I just got myself into

"Well, just the fact that every guy in the gym was practically jacking off watching you." She looks kind of shocked by the comment I just said. I am a little bit too. "Ask Aiden over here." I love putting Aiden in an awkward situation too.

"Aiden!" She slaps his arm and leans back onto the set of bleachers behind me. The same ones that those idiot boys were sitting on.

After the whole pep rally was done and over with, Spencer and I said good bye to Aiden and we were on our way. We started to walk to the front of the school to be picked up by Spencer's mom, Paula. She's pretty chill. When we get to the front, a lot of kids are waiting. We go and sit down on the furthest part of the gym so we can be by ourselves. She has to talk to me about something important. I wonder what it is.

She's been quite now, for about 5 minutes. I would ask her what's up, but I know to give her time. She finally looks up from her hands and she stares at me, "Ashley…" She says and now I know it's going to be something bad. I can feel it, "I um… is it bad to like your best friend?" oh; well I guess it could be like really good!

I smile a little, "No its not." But that quickly disappears after she tells me something that I so don't want to hear

"Good." She says with a sigh, "Because I like Aiden." She says it with a smile and she just broke my heart into a million pieces without even knowing it.

**Ok so should I continue it? Yes? No? Delete it? Tell me:)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Ok so I did have a mistake in the first chapter. Lol. Spencer doesn't have a boyfriend! I said in the beginning that she did, I didn't mean to write that. Lol. So yeah. She is single. In the story of course! If she were single in real life… I'd be first in line :)**

**And I would also like to thank everyone (as in 3 people) who reviewed! This chapter is for you guys!**

**Oh and yeah, the disclaimer thing. Umm I don't own South of Nowhere. And im not going to say that The-N owns it, because they don't really. They cancelled it. Idiots! But whatever. Tom still owns it. But yeah. **

**Ok, now im going to let you read you the chapter!**

Have you ever felt like you've been hit by a train? And you lived through the pain but you wished you would have just died on the scene? Have you been stabbed in the heart once but felt like a million times? Did you ever want to just jump off of a cliff; just to see is the only person that you love would care if you're gone? Have you ever wanted to just express who you felt to your best friend? And have she have the same ones back? 

Ugh, and just every time we're on the phone, and she starts to talk about him. It's been going on for a week now. I sit here and act like that I really care about her liking Aiden. Our best friend. And I nod along with her when she tells me how gorgeous his eyes are. Or how hot he looks with his shirt off. And what she doesn't see is that she is slowly killing me.

"Aiden, go fuck yourself." I snap at him. I guess I shouldn't have said that to his friendly comment about how I did my hair today. Spencer looks over at me along with Aiden, shocked at what just came out of my mouth. I chuckle, "But yeah, thanks for the compliment." I smile over at him before I take a bite out of my salad. Of course the smile was fake, I just don't want them thinking that something is wrong.

"Okkk." Aiden says as he turns to Spencer. "So, I heard about the camping trip this weekend." He grins to the blonde sitting next to him

I roll my eyes, "Yeah. Ashley is coming with my family this time." But then I smile because Aiden almost looks hurt that im going and he isn't. It's not like her mom would even let him go though. "But I can ask if you can come too." I watch disgusted as she puts her hand on his thigh and pats it

He smiles at her and glances over at me. His smile quickly disappears when he notices me glaring at him, "No it's cool. You and Ashley have fun." He stands up from our table and grabs his backpack from the ground, "Im going to go hangout with Glen." He smiles a goodbye to us and walks away

Spencer sits there for a second, watching Aiden walk away. She then looks over at me, "What's wrong with him?" She stares at me question and I just wish that I could tell her how hard it was for me to sit through all of that

I shrug my shoulders, "Beats me." I throw my plastic container that held my salad into the trash can that was next to our table. 

"Hey Spencer, did you hear about the party tomorrow night?" I look over at Spencer's friend, Madison. She thinks that she rules the school. Which she doesn't. No one does. And if anyone did, she sure as hell wouldn't rule it. She has a stick stuck so far up her ass, she's considered to be a Latino Pop-Sickle. "You are so going to it." 

"Um, Mads, I already have plans for tomorrow night though." Yeah, we're going camping, chica.

Madison looks over at me and then back at Spencer, "Ok, im sure it can wait for one night," Um, im not an 'it'. Im Ashley Davies! Get it right and start calling me by my name! "And I doubt she would mind." Madison rolls her eyes

"Her name is Ashley, Madison." Yeah take that

"Whatever. So you coming or not?" No she isn't going to go with you

Spencer shakes her head, "Im going camping with my family. I can't go." The bell rings and we all stand up

"You hang out with them all the time! Can't your religious freak mom deal without you for one night? Aiden's going to be there!" I can't believe that Madison just called Paula that.

"Madison!" Spencer exclaimed and everyone around us became quite and stared at us, "I can't go! Ok?" She grabbed my hand, "Come on Ashley." And we started to walk away

I walk Spencer to her class, just like every day. When we get to her classroom door, she leans up against the wall and I stand in front of her. You know, just like you see all of those couples doing? Except, im not leaning on her and we aren't kissing. We're just standing there. Quietly. This isn't normal. Something is on her mind.

"So um." I trail off, hoping that Spencer will say something

Spencer sighs and stares at me, "Why were you acting weird at lunch?" 

I look at her and stare into her ocean blue eyes. "I didn't notice any difference." I look down the hallway, just trying to avert our eyes locking

She grabs my hand, and immediately I feel the warmth in there. I stare at her and I noticed that she isn't leaning on the wall anymore. She's standing clearly inches away from my face, "Ashley." She says my name in a whisper

I bite my lower lip and I glanced down at hers and then back into her blue eyes. I swallow hard and open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. I shut it. And I have to tell her that im in love with her. I have to tell her soon. Because if I don't, I'll regret it. And also, if I don't, I'll be stuck listening to her and Aiden's problems. Or how good he is in bed. Gag. Ok, I don't even want to think about that one. 

The bell rings and we don't move. Im happy too. I don't care if im late. As long as this is the reason why im late. "Why won't you tell me?" She asks. I feel her taking her hand away so I squeeze mine tighter on 

hers. She smiles a little bit and I feel hers tighten on mine. I see her eyes looking into mine and I know she can read me like an open book, and right now, I don't care. I want her to read me like that. I want her to know that im in love with her.

The second and final bell rings and now we're both late. I lean in and I kiss her on the cheek, "Later Spence." That wasn't the first time I've kissed her on the cheek. She kisses me on the cheek all the time too. We're really close. We act like we're couple too. I slap her butt and she giggles, "Bye Ashley." She smiles big at me as she walks into her classroom. That wasn't the first time I've slapped her butt either. I told you we're really close.

IOIOIOIOIOIO

"I spy with my little eye… something… red!" Spencer giggles next to me in the back seat of her dad's truck. Glen, as in her brother, is sitting on the other side of her. In the front, her dad Arthur is driving, Paula is sitting in the middle, and then Clay is sitting in the passenger seat.

I look outside of the truck for something red. "Is it—" 

"That barn over there?" Of course Glen finds it first. 

Spencer elbows him in the ribs and he rolls his eyes and pushes her back, "Ow." She says very quietly and shoves him with her shoulder. He hits her on her leg, giving her a dead leg. "Glen!" Paula turns around and looks at her children, "Stop hitting your sister!" She rolls her eyes and Spencer grins at her brother as their mom turns back around

When we get to the campsite, we quickly set everything up. This is the last weekend we're going camping because after this weekend, it isn't supposed to be summer weather anymore. We all change into our bathing suits and we head out to the lake. A couple of families are already here and they're already swimming. I look over and I see Glen and Clay running off and jumping off of a vacant dock and into the lake. I look over at Spencer who is setting all the towels down on the sand that the park people put next to the lake so that the little kids could have even more fun.

I walk over to the lake and I fill up an empty bucket that was left on the sand by kids with water. I slowly sneak up behind Spencer and I pour it onto her head. She squeals and starts to run after me. I run over to the same dock that her brothers jumped off of. With Spencer right behind me, I act like that im about to jump off of the dock but instead I stepped aside and Spencer fell into the water.

When her head pops out of the water, im laughing and so is she. "You know you're going to get it right?" 

I look at her, "What? Are you going to eat beans again tonight?" Her jaw drops

"I didn't think that I would get gas!" She splashes me with the lake water and I start to laugh

I quickly stop when I hear Glen start to talk to someone behind me. Im still looking at Spencer too and she's smiling at someone past me. I start to turn around and all I see is a quick flash of rock hard abs, black hair, and a stupid goofy grin before I fell into the water. When I hit the water, I realized that it was 

Aiden who had pushed me. And instead of coming up out of the water quickly, I let my body float until I hit the bottom. And on the way down, I know that I have to tell Spencer really soon that im in love with her. Because, if I don't, she'll never understand how she almost kills me. Just like the water is about to do. 

I push off of the bottom of the lake and I feel mud and sand between my toes. I break surface and I gasp for air, "Damn Ash, I thought I killed you." Aiden says looking down at me from the dock

"And you didn't even mind jumping in after me?" And then I feel arms snake around my waist.

I turn to my left to see a blue eyed blonde girl smiling like the dork she is, "Don't you worry Ash, I would have saved you." And she kisses my cheek and wraps her legs around my waist and places her arms around my neck. 

I stare at Spencer now and she's staring back at me. I so just want to kiss her right now. Now would be the perfect opportunity. I hear some splashes and I know that me and her are alone right now. She plays with my wet hair as I hold her around her waist. If only she knew what this meant to me right now.


	3. Chapter 3

There was a lot more reviews than I expected :) It made me happy

**There was a lot more reviews than I expected :) It made me happy. Lol. **

We're all sitting around the campfire. It's 9:45 right now. I have a marshmallow on my stick over the fire. Im sitting next to Spencer. Life couldn't get any better right now. And I really mean it. It couldn't get any better because Aiden is _still _here. Guess who invited him? That's right. Glen. Ugh. He always ruins everything. And you know who else is sitting next to Spencer? Nope, not Clay. Not Glen. Not even her parents. But Aiden.

Ok, so what's up with Aiden? I thought he understood that I was in love with her! I mean, I know he's a flirt and everything. But still! Ugh, why does this all have to be hard? I remember when I wasn't in love with Spencer. I think… wait, no. Never mind. I was always somewhat in love with her. Even when I met her. 

_The door of the fourth grade classroom swings open. The class becomes quite and we all stare at the principle that just walked in. I hear Aiden next to me, asking some of the other kids who got in trouble this time. All of the kids went back to doing with whatever they were doing. But I kept my eye on the new girl who just walked in._

_She switched her weight from foot to foot as the teacher was talking to the principle. I wonder who she is and where she came from. She's really pretty actually. Her hair is really blonde and kind of really straight. The principle leaves and our teacher calls for the whole class's attention. "Class, this is Spencer. She just moved here from Ohio. Can we all welcome her?" The class clapped and we all said hey to her together. Her cheeks turned a little red as she fidgeted with the hem of her shirt._

_Everyone went back to what they were doing besides me. Again. I get up from playing with Aiden and another guy that was close to him. I make my way over to the blonde who is wearing baggy shorts and an oversized plain white t-shirt. "Hi. Im Ashley." I smile at her and she smiles back and replies with a shy 'hi'._

_Her eyes are really blue too. Bluer than any blue eyes I have ever seen. Amazingly blue. "Wanna come play with me and my idiot friend, Aiden?" I chuckle so she knows that im joking_

_  
She nods and I take her hand. It's really warm and it fits pretty well with mine. I lead her over to where I was just before she came into my life. I introduce her to Aiden. Not the other guy though because he doesn't deserve to be introduced to this beauty at all._

"Ash…" I hear her whisper from behind me. "Are you awake?" She adds drawing little circles on my back

Even that makes me want her. Im in deep aren't I? "Mmhmm." I say sleepily. I was about to fall asleep too.

"I can't sleep." I hear her sigh and she moves around in her sleeping bag. "Is it hot in here?" I think she has ADD at night. I roll over so im facing her and I open my eyes. She's sitting up now and she takes off her wife beater and throws it at the door. 

"What are you doing?" I want to avert my eyes, because I feel that it's somewhat wrong. But I can't. Just act like she's in her bikini. Well actually, she still has her bikini top on. "Why are you still wearing you bikini top on?" And if she gets cold throughout the morning, she can snuggle up with me. I grin into the darkness.

I see her lay back down, "Because I didn't want to wear a bra. You know, just in case." Ew. Ok, she isn't aloud to say that unless that my friend is involving me.

"What? That you might hook up with Aiden while you're with your family?" She chuckles, "You're a dork." Well she is.

"But you love me." Yeah I do love you. But not like you think.

"Yeah actually I do." I say it kind of quietly

We lay in silence for a moment, "Hey," She says randomly, "You've been acting… weird lately. What's on your mind?" What is this? Opera?

"Nothing." Why can't I just grow a pair and tell her that im in love with her!?

"Liar." She chuckles and rolls onto her side. She puts her hand on my left hand that was resting in the area between us. I feel a slight shock. Just like every time I feel it when she touches me. She flinches again though. That's not the first time she flinched after she touched me. Maybe she felt it too? I hope so. "Please tell me Ash." I can hear it in her voice that she really wants me too tell her

"There's nothing too tell." Liar. "And if there was," Which there is, "I'd tell you at a more decent hour," Liar. You'll never tell her, "And not at an ungodly hour." Doesn't matter. You'll never tell her that you're in love with her.

"Why are you lying to me?" See, Ashley, she can read you like an open book. I stay quite, "Is it about me liking Aiden?" Yes actually it is.

"No." I say unconvincing 

"Ashley." She says sternly. She reminded me like her mom. 

I sit up in my sleeping bag and she does the same. Her hand is still on mine. And maybe this isn't a bad time to tell her. I mean, no one else is up right? "Ok fine. I'll tell you." Good. One step down. A few more to go. You can do this Ashley. You've rehearsed it in your head so many times that you've lost count, "Is it bad to like your best friend?" Even though it's dark, I can still see Spencer clearly.

She's staring at me, "No. Why? You're the one who told me that it wasn't. Oh my god, its bad to be in love with your best friend isn't it!" Love?

"Wait… you love him?" Oh. My. God. Just please kill me now. I don't care how you decide to take me. Heart attack. Stroke. Heart failure! Just take me now! Please!

"No." She says and I don't believe her

"Don't lie, Spencer. You're in love with him aren't you?" And you could definitely hear the hurt in my voice

"Im not in love with him, Ash." Ok, well that tone was a little bit more convincing. For real. Im not joking. Wait, God. Please don't take me just this second. A little longer please. "Im in… love with… um… someone else." Ok, just take me now. Please. Im sorry about the delay. I thought this was going to turn out good.

"Who's the lucky person?" She stares at me and I know she can read me

"I just don't know if that person loves me back the way I love them." Them? It's an it?! 

"Who wouldn't love you back in that way Spencer? Seriously. You're amazing." Ok Ashley just shut up now. "You're beautiful," Seriously Ashley! "Smart," You aren't listening to me are you? "Funny," Great… you're going to regret this later dumbass. "And your eyes, even I get lost in them." Way to tell her your secret! "And how you stare at me, or say my name way differently than anyone else's." You're digging yourself into a hole, Ashley. "And how we act like we're a couple, but we really aren't. It actually is killing me." Yeah, why don't you roll in some gasoline and lit a match. 

She's staring at me like I just said everything she wanted to hear. "Why can't you be a guy, Ash?" Because I have boobs. And a vagina. Sorry dear I can't please you with my parts.

"Spencer," I say and there is no stopping me now, "I think… no im pretty positive about this." I lean in closer to her, "Im in love with you." I say in a low voice because I don't want anyone to hear

But im caught off guard by a pair of lips that I dreamt about for 6 years on mine. I can't believe that she is kissing me. Spencer. Is. Kissing. Me! Ah! I kiss her back. I put my hand on the back of her head and bring her back in when she starts to pull away. Her hands find themselves tangled in my hair. I need air. Im about to suffocate from this _wonderful _moment.

We pull back at the same time, "And Ashley, why did you think I act the way I do around you?" Was I that blind? She laughs, probably at my expression, "What? The kissing your cheek, or slapping your butt, or the non stop flirting with you didn't give anything away?" I haven't stopped smiling

"I thought we were just that close." She laughs and removes her hands from my hair. She grabs my hands and now they're resting on her lap

"It's freezing right now, Ash." Oh wow, I was pretty blind. She chuckles at that.

"Then why did you tell me that you liked Aiden?" really, because I would love to know that one.

She sighs, "Because… I wasn't sure if you loved me like I loved you. I was going to tell you then, but the look on your face when I asked you." She says kind of sadly

"So you decided to flirt with him all week? You know how much torture I was in!" I smile at her to let her know that im messing around with her. She chuckles and I kiss her, "Why did you wait so long?" I ask her as I pull back

"I could ask you the same thing." She smiles at me and stares into my eyes

**Ah! They got together! Lol. I couldn't handle them apart. They were just way too cute together as friends. I planned on letting them go separate for a few more chapters. Lol. I hope I get as many as reviews as I did as before! :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**You guys know how to make me happy! Haha. Well sorry about the delayed update. Even though its spring break and all… I still have to get up at 7 for softball. It kind of sucks. But not really. Well today it did lol. I was only on 4 hours of sleep. Haha.**

**Anyways, thanks to everyone who reviewed! I love reading them. Especially the ones that give more than PMS or UPDATE lol. It's good. I love getting tons of reviews. Means I know what im doing. Lol. I agree with a lot of you guys too! They are soo cute! I could just eat them all up ;)**

**Chapter 4!**

This morning when I woke up, I wasn't sure if what happened late last night was a dream or not. When I woke up, Spencer wasn't in the tent. I stared at the empty sleeping bag and I sighed heavily. It had to be a dream. Because everything you've ever dreamed for so many years, can't all come true over night. That only happens in Disney movies.

But now I am totally rethinking that whole thing. Because just the way she's looking at me now. Her look is saying 'why did I wait so long?' and another one is 'I can't believe we kissed.' Ah! That's right! We kissed! Oh my god. Spencer and I kissed? Ah, I am so happy God didn't take me away last night. I would be in hell! Ha. Ha. Ironic huh?

Tonight is our last night here at the campgrounds and im really sad. I love this place. It's so beautiful. I have to enjoy every moment I can before it's all gone. Well, until next summer. Im standing here on the point that is surrounded by the lake water. Watching as the day I just had disappear along with the sun. I cross my arms over my chest that is just covered with my bikini top still as a nice cool wind blows through. I inhale deeply because I like the smell of seasons changing. You know how you can smell summer one day, and then the next, fall? Well, that's what I smell.

A pair of arms wrap around my waist and my first instinct is too think that its Aiden being Aiden. But I haven't talked to him all weekend because I thought that he was an ass. Their chin rests on my shoulders and I felt that the person had to stand on their tippy toes a little to do that move. I feel them lean into my back and it's a girl. It's Spencer. I can smell her. Automatically, a smile appears on my face.

She whispers through my hair and into my ear, "It's beautiful." I smile because I know exactly what to say to her right now

I slowly turn around, still in her arms and I stare at her, "Almost as beautiful as you." I whisper back and I kiss the tip of her nose and she giggles and releases me. I look over her shoulder and her mom is watching us. Well, was. She turned away. I think she's catching on. That might be a bad thing though. Eek.

She grabs my hand and pulls me down onto the dying grass. We're sitting pretty close to each other now. I should really go get a shirt. It's getting really cold. She leans her head on my shoulder and she sighs, "Im glad that last night happened." She says quietly. Not looking at me. Not looking at anyone. But she's looking out over the lake and watching the sun set beautifully beyond the horizon.

"Me too." She doesn't even know how happy I am to know that last night actually happened. It was like. A miracle. I think she might like to know this, "I really like you Spence." She nods into my shoulder. Not even picking her head up to say her response.

"I really like you too Ash." She says quietly again. Afraid if she says anything louder, someone might hear her. Us. And that wouldn't be so good.

And that was basically the whole night. Well not really. But that was the only part worth mentioning. Because really, who wants to hear about the boring part that didn't involve Spencer? A show of hands please? None? Really? Yeah exactly. Im glad we're on the same page.

Right now it's a Monday. At school. During break. We're hanging out together. But we're not standing next to each other. She doesn't want anyone to notice that we're going out. Even though, every other day we weren't going out, we acted like we did. I don't think she understands that people will notice why we aren't standing next to each other and stuff like that.

We're in our group of friends. Spencer, Me, Kyla, Aiden, Madison, Chelsea, Blah, Blah, oh and Blah. Yeah I don't know who those three girls are. But they're on the cheer squad though. You'd think I'd know them huh? Ha. Ha. "That party was amazing!" I hear Madison say to Spencer who is standing between Chelsea and Aiden

"Did you get a tan?" Asks Blah 1. I don't know who she's talking to though. Oh wait. Aiden. Blah 2 and 3 are laughing at something Kyla said. Chelsea is busy talking on her phone to God only knows who. Something is missing here. I need someone to talk to. To hold. Someone who isn't afraid to stand by me. Cough Spencer cough. Ok, that was a little mean, but the least she could do is stand next to me! I miss her.

Ok whoa, what is Madison talking about now? "Rumor has it, you two are going out." You've got to be shitting me. She points to Spencer and Aiden. Yeah, Spence, great move. Stand by Mr. Testosterone and look what happens. Stand by little Miss Hottie and nothing comes up like that.

But yeah, they've got my full attention. And yes Aiden, I did hear that. So you can stop looking at me like that. "Um, but we're not." Spencer says, "Who told you that?" She actually sounds offended by that

"Well you should be." Madison says pushing them two closer to each other, "And no one. I just—"

Spencer. Way to go on cutting the bitch off, "What? Thought it was clever?" Ok, she seems pissed. And now everyone in our circle is looking at them two. "Well Madison, it wasn't. I don't like Aiden. I lo—like someone else." She takes a step away from Aiden

Aiden looks a little hurt though. Im surprised, "Aiden, you should ask her out not. She is clearly in love with you." Madison smirks at her observement

"Madison! What the hell is your problem?" Spencer exclaims, "I don't love Aiden ok! Well I mean, I do, but as a friend. Nothing more." I just want to hug her right now. She glances over at me, pleading for my help with her eyes. I know that look way too well.

"Madison," I speak up, "Just drop the whole thing ok?" I grab Spencer's hand, "Let's go Spence."

And as we walk away, I hear Madison 'whisper' something to everyone that was in the circle. "If im not mistaken, it looks like they're going out." I wonder if Spencer heard that. I drop her hand though. I hear Kyla speak up, "No, they're just close." I chance a glance over at the gorgeous blonde and she's staring at the ground as we walk to her next class. "Well… she'd defiantly be off of the squad if she were gay. Especially with that slut." And I can't hear them talk anymore.

We've turned the corner away from her so called friends. We stand outside of the doorway that leads into her next class. She leans up against the wall and she still hasn't looked at me, "Spence—"She cuts me off though

"No Ash, just don't." She looks up at me.

"You don't even know what I was going to say." Im a little hurt by her jump to conclusion.

"What? You weren't going to say anything about what just happened? Or about why I didn't stand next to you? Ash, im not ready completely yet. Ok?" Ok, that was far beyond what I was even going to say!

I shake my head, "Actually no. A matter of fact, I was going to tell you I wasn't going to be at lunch because I have to re-take a math test." I shut my mouth before I say anything else that could be bad

I stare at me, "Liar." She smirks at the comment

I roll my eyes, "Im not lying. Look." I show her the palm of my hand 'take re-take at lunch' with lunch underlined three times so I wouldn't forget.

"Whatever." I smiled a little and went to kiss my cheek but I back up, "Hey." She stared at me confused

"No, you called me a liar." I say with a serious look on my face. I start to look away. Of course im just playing with her though

She grabs my hand, "Im sorry. Would you like to tell me my punishment?" She asks really quiet and all sexy like

I slowly turn around and a small smile slowly creeps up onto my face. Oh what this girl does to me I swear. I kiss her. On the lips. At school. Shit. I hope no one saw that! "My room after school?" I ask still really close to her face

She smiles at me, "Deal." And with that, she's gone. She turns around and walks a little and into her classroom. And while I walk to mine, I smile like a big idiot. Im in love. Shut up.

**Like? Yes? No? Reviews? Well that's an obvious yes :p**


	5. Chapter 5

When you wake up in the morning and you get out of bed to get ready for school, and then you hear that song. You know that one song that says everything that's going on in your life in a matter of 2 minutes and 55 seconds? Well about the one you're in love with? I quickly grab my cell phone and dial Spencer's number. She picks up on the 3rd ring and answers with something in her mouth. "What are you doing?" I ask very curious, sitting down on my bed

"Putting up my hair." She says clearly. I guess she put her bobby pins in her mouth to hold them. "Anyways, what's up with you?" She asks and I almost forgot

"I want you to hear the song that is about to come on the radio." I hear her rustle with some things in the background. She asks me what station, "98.1" I tell her and I hear the people talking. It's a commercial.

"What's it called?" She asks. I wonder what she's wearing—I mean, I what she's doing. Yeah.

"You'll see. Or listen." I reply waiting for the song to come on. I really wish they would hurry up. Then I hear them announcing the song. _I love you _by _Martina McBride._ Spencer starts to say something, "Shh. Just listen." She becomes quite.

_Yeah  
The sun is shining everyday  
The clouds never get in the way for you and me  
I've known you for 6 years now  
But baby I'm so into you I can hardly breathe_

This song just kind of says everything about what I feel for her. You know. The whole love scene.__

And I'm in love so totally  
Wrapped up emotionally  
Attracted so physically  
Acting so recklessly  
I need you so desperately  
Sure as the sky is blue  
Baby I love you  
I love you

And it's all true too. I would never lie about this. I've listened to this song for a couple of weeks now. Just waiting for the right moment to let her listen to it. Now is the perfect chance. Because we're together. And we're in love. Well… I am. I don't know about her. Maybe this was a bad idea.__

I never knew that I could feel like this  
Can hardly wait till our next kiss  
Your so cool  


_If I'm dreaming please don't wake me up  
'Cause baby I can't get enough of what you do_

Ok well maybe not. Because I can practically hear her smile through the phone. Im really happy about telling her to listen to this song.__

And I'm in love so electrically  
Charged up kinetically  
Acting erractically  
Need you fanatically  
You get to me magically  
Sure as the sky is blue  
Baby I love you

Ugh, I wish I were with her right now. Just to see the expression on her face. Or after the song is over, I could kiss her and prove to her that I love her this much.__

I can't believe  
That this is real  
The way I feel  
Baby I gone head over heels

Way over heels that she doesn't even know of. Well, now she does. Thanks to Martina McBride that is.__

And I'm in love so totally  
Wrapped up emotionally  
Attracted so physically  
Acting so recklessly  
I need you so desperately  
Sure as the sky is blue  
Yeah

And I'm so electrically  
Charged up kinetically  
Acting erractically  
Need you fanatically  
You get to me magically  
Sure as the sky is blue  
Baby I love you  
Baby I love you  
Do you love me too  
Baby I love you

She's been quiet now for a while. I wonder what's on her mind. "Yeah… so that's all." I say quietly. Maybe she didn't like it like how I expected her to like it.

Oh my god. What if that was too fast! What if she wants to break up with me?! Oh my god. I think I would die. Seriously. I would kill myself. Not really. I would just go into a deep state of depression and what not. "Baby…" Ok listen to her Ashley! "I love you too." Ah!

Oh my god. I might die right now just from being so happy. "I love you more." I smile into the phone and I know that I am in _way _too deep with this certain blue eyed beauty.

"That's not even close to possible." She replies back in a whisper. Im guessing she went downstairs or something because she would never whisper in her room. Would she?

"If you were here with me right now… I could prove to you it was true." I smile as I slip into my sandals and I grab my bag and throw it over my right shoulder, phone in my left hand. I exit my room and start my way down the stairs.

I hear her shut a door, "Yeah and if I were there, I could prove to you that you're wrong." I hear her shut another door and a start of an engine. She's about to leave for school. Or well she is leaving for school.

"Phss, I'd like to see you try." I get into my car and wait for Kyla to finish her bagel and come on out so we can leave for school.

"Mmm, well aren't you just in some bad luck today." I watch as Kyla comes out of the house and makes her way to the car

"Bad luck? I think its karma." I hear Spencer laugh at that and if I were standing, my knees would have gone weak and gave out on me. "But babe, Kyla is about to the car. I'll see you when I get to school. Love you." I say about to close my phone.

"Love you more." And with that she ends the conversation, knowing that I would start up that whole little cute argument thing again with her. Its fun I must say.

IOIOIOIOIO

When we get to school, Kyla and I walk straight to our normal spot. Where everyone is. We walk around the corner and we can already see our friends. And of course, Aiden is already there. Talking to Spencer. Probably flirting with her because he secretly wants her. Too bad boy. She's gay. And she's in love. With me.

Spencer's back is facing towards us as we walk towards our group. I smile to myself as I creep slowly behind my love and wrap my arms around her waist. She jumps a little at the touch and turns around in my arms. We both lean in for a kiss but then realize that we can't kiss. Not here. Not at school. She instead I kiss her on the cheek and she giggles. Aiden watches us closely and I send him a tiny glare.

This morning, she stands next to me. And only me. We formed our own little line. Not a circle or a triangle. A line. Because that's all there is. Two people. Me and her. We both can't wipe the stupid goofy grin off of our faces because we're both in love with each other and we already know so much about each other because we've known each other for the longest times.

We're both so happy. That is, until Aiden walks over. "Ash… we need to talk." He pulls me away from Spencer without even asking.

We stand separated from everybody at the entire school. Somewhere vacant. He stares at me, "What?" I ask impatient.

"Im sorry. I really am. But I… I love her, Ash." My jaw slightly drops open, "And I want to be with her. So, if it's fine with you. Im going to ask her out." He stares at me. He has got to be fucking joking right?

"You already heard her, Aiden. She doesn't even like you." I tell him slightly pissed off. Why would he even have enough balls to tell me that! "And plus, why would do that to me!" I exclaimed

He shakes his head, "You know what Ash? Im sorry. But you two will never be together." Goes to show how much he knows about his two best friends, "And if anyone ever found out that she was gay, her life would be ruined. Especially if she dates you." I raise my hand up and I slap him across the face. How dare he talk to me like that! I've been there for him ever since we were born!

"What the fuck, Aiden?" I say. Tears are threating to form but I fight them back.

"Ashley, I've loved her for so long. I can't just sit back and watch you attempt to get her when we both know that you can't. She needs a guy, Ash. And Madison is right. We should be together." Ugh oh my god. I can't believe what im hearing.

"Since when do you fucking listen to that walking hormone?" I say really hurt. Why is he doing this to me?

I look past Aiden and look at Spencer. She's laughing along with those Blah girls. Seriously, who are those girls? "Ashley are you even listening to me?" I look back at him. At the guy I thought was my best friend.

"Aiden, I love her. And we're already going out." I say quietly. I can't believe I just told him that.

His mouth drops a little. And if he were an asshole like he is appearing right now, he would run over to the walking hormone and tell her about us. And ruin both mine and Spencer's lives. But instead, he stays here. I look past him again to see what else Spencer is doing. She's smiling at Kyla now and she glances over at me with a bored expression and I can't help but smile.

"You're… going out with Spencer?" He says it so hurt.

"Excuse me?" Shit.

**Ooh, who said that? Any guesses? Review please! It always helps. Especially if you tell me what you like and what you didn't like. Or if you want to see in the future and stuff like that. :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry it's been so long! My bad. And well im not going to sit here telling you all of these boring excuses. SO yeah. On with the story!**

"Excuse me?" Shit.

Aiden and I both turn around and there she is. The future disaster standing in front of me. Madison Duarte. The walking fucking hormone. Her jaw is open. Shocked to hear the new latest gossip she can walk around school spreading faster than aids in Africa.

Jus then, I see a flash of blonde hair, smiling as she walks over to me. "Hey Ash, can you come with me—"She's cut off by Madison grabbing her arm.

"You're gay!" Spencer's expression changed to scared and hurt. She glanced at me and then back at Madison, "With the school slut?! You've _got _to be kidding me, Carlin." Madison drops her hand from Spencer's arm and pinches Spencer's shirt and pulls it towards her, "You can be dropping this off at practice." And with that said with disgust in her voice, she and all of the Blah girls left.

"Spence…" I say quietly.

She turns slowly to me. Tears forming already in her eyes. "Don't Ashley. Just… Don't." She says so hurt as she walks off down the halls.

How can you life go from the greatest thing on earth, to complete shit in a matter of 2 minutes? I watch Spencer walk slowly down the hall way and then at Madison. Deciding which one to talk to first. Then I look at the ass in front of me. Aiden. I glare at him. Maybe I'll talk to him first. "What the fuck Aiden? Thanks for ruining my life." I shake my head and start walking towards Madison who is talking to some of the other cheerleaders.

"Madison." I say sternly making everyone stop talking and look at me. I get close to her and in her face.

"Ew. Ohmygod! Don't stand so close. I don't want to catch your disease." She backs away from me.

"what the fuck is your problem? Are you really that fucking gullible?" Of course im doing this to defend Spencer. She really loves cheering. But im beginning to think that she loves it more than me. "Spencer isn't gay." Im probably going to need more of that to make them believe me.

"Whatever, homo. Leave us alone." She turns around and she is really pissing me off

I grab her arm and force her to turn around, "Are you really kicking, Spencer, off of the squad just because of some stupid rumour?" I drop her arm before I catch any bitch disease she carries on her.

She crosses her arms over her chest, "How do I know it's not a rumour?" she says

"Oh yeah, like 'isn't' a rumour." One of the blah girls mutters and I glare at her and she joins back in onto her own conversation.

"Madison. Really. Why would you believe such crap like that?" I mean, it is true and all. "Spencer wouldn't ever do anything like that. You know her. She'd do anything to be on the squad." Well she would. Even if it has to mean that we can't be together…

"I don't know. Maybe." Why is she being so nice all of a sudden? I look at her clan and no one is paying attention to her. I guess that's why. "If I let her stay on the squad. You aren't allowed to be with her. At all." What the fuck!

"That would be her own decision." I glare at her. Of course Spencer would choose me, her best friend, over cheerleading where two faced bitches breed.

IOIOIOIOI

At lunch I wander into the quad looking for the love of my life. I wonder where she could be. She told me to meet her at her 4th period class? I pull out my cell phone and dial her number. She doesn't ring. I wonder where she could be.

I see my sister so I walk up to her, "Hey Ky." I say ending it with a sigh

"Hey Ash. What's up?" She takes a bite out of her salad

"Nothing. Do you know where Spencer is?" I ask her.

She stares at me and stands up from the table that she was sitting at with all of her friends. She grabs my arm and pulls me away from everyone where it is just us. "Ok, um, I don't know if this is true or not… but everyone is saying that you're…" She looks around, "Gay." She says finally.

I sigh, "Yeah, Kyla, I am. Ok? It's true." I stare at her, knowing for a fact that she won't ever talk to me again.

She stands there, eyes bugging out a little bit. She grabs my shoulders and shakes me, "Why didn't you ever tell me!" she says with a slight smile.

I stare at her really weird after she was done shaking me to death. I put my hand up to her forehead to see if she was running a fever. "Nothing." I raise my eye brow at her. "What'd you smoke, Ky?" She laughs

"Nothing, Ash. I knew you were. Well… I had a feeling. And lemme guess, you're in love with Spence?" I roll my eyes and nod.

Whoa wait. If she found out from the rumour that I was gay, wouldn't she have heard that I was going out with Spencer too? "That wasn't in the 'rumour'?" I ask

She shakes her head, "No. All I was told was 'Ashley Davies is a lesbian.' That's all people have been talking about since the end of fourth." Wait…

"So, there was nothing about Spencer in that rumour ordeal?" Kyla shakes her head. Maybe Madison does have a soft side.

"If you're looking for Spencer, she's over there." Kyla points to… the cheerleader table. Of course.

I smile thanks to Kyla before I turn away from her. I pull of my cell phone and quickly text a 'come over to Kyla's table for a second please.' And I wait for her. I watch her pull out her cell phone and read the message. But instead of replying, she just puts her phone back into her back pocket and continues to sit at the table.

She doesn't even glace over at me. Not even in this direction. What's her problem—no. she couldn't have. No. no. no! I walk over to the table and everyone looks at me. "Beep beep beep. Homo alert. Homo alert." Madison laughs along with her clan. I look at Spencer she stares down at her hands.

"Spencer, can we—" Im cut off by Madison who is already standing

"Too late, Davies. Guess who she chooses?" She grins evilly at me. I look at Spencer.

She won't even look up at me. "Are you serious, Spencer? You choose this two faced bitch over your best friend?" She still doesn't even look at me, "And you can't even look at me and face up to it. That's nice, Spence. Very nice." Still noting. I can't believe her! Oh my god! Please. Just kill me now. Everyone would be happy that im gone.

"Why are you still here, Davies?" Madison spits.

I take one more look at Spencer. "Fuck you, Spence." And with that said, im gone.

I walk off of campus, even with the teacher yelling at me to get back onto it. I ignore him and keep walking. I don't know where im going. But im going somewhere. Somewhere where I can forget about everything that happened today. Somewhere that I can just pretend it was all a dream and just wake up tomorrow to still be in 4th grade. Where it was easier. Where I ruled the school and Madison didn't.

I walk into the nearest gas station to get something to drink. I walk to the back and stare at what I want. So many fucking choices to choose from. "Looking for something strong?" I hear from behind me. I turn around to be faced with a girl about my height. Black hair with straight across bangs. Skinny jeans and black converse. Her black t-shirt has the Romone's Band Tour 1999 across the front. I read her name tag. Carmen.

"How'd you know?" I smile at her and I watch as she opens one of the doors and pulls out a bottle of the strongest thing they have in front. Bud Light.

"It's not going to do much. But it's all I can ring up without getting the manager." I watch as she makes her way back behind the counter and rings it up. "Come on, im outta here anyways." She takes off her name tag and throws it next to the cash register. She grabs the bag she put the beer in and disappears in the back but quickly returns with the same cute smile on her face when I first saw her like… 20 seconds ago. "Ready?" I chuckle and nod. I follow her out to her beat up '99 Toyota Camry.

I get into her front seat and she gets into the drivers seat. "Im Carmen by the way." She starts the car and backs it out of the parking lot.

She turns left and stops at the red light, "Im Ashley." We share a smile and she pulls off as soon as the light turns green.

**What the hell is Ashley doing? Especially getting into a car with someone she has NO clue who she is! She is going crazy! And really. Spencer choosing Cheer over that hot piece of ass? She's even crazier! Ah! All the drama coming!! :p **

**Reviews are just fuel to the fire! Haha.**


End file.
